10 Tips for Coping with Social Anxiety for Children and Teens
What is Social Anxiety:
Feeling shy or uncomfortable in social situations can be normal and these are not a sign that someone has social anxiety, particularly in children. An individual’s comfort level in social situations vary depending on a number of factors. Some people are naturally outgoing, others are naturally reserved. Social anxiety, in contrast to regular nervousness, causes people to feel intense fears or anxiety in social situations. This fear comes up in situations where they feel they may be evaluated, judged or scrutinized by others. Social anxiety can be a challenging experience for children and teens. It can make everyday activities, like attending school or hanging out with friends, feel overwhelming. However, there are effective strategies that can help manage these feelings and build confidence. Here are some tips for coping with social anxiety:
What to do:
1. Understand the Feelings
The first step in coping with social anxiety is understanding what it is and how your child or teen is experiencing it. Explain to your child or teen that it’s normal to feel nervous in social situations and inform them that feeling a little discomfort is a normal part of life and it’s manageable. Help them recognize how their anxiety presents itself both physically (physical sensations—like a racing heart, the nervous stomach or sweaty palms) or cognitively (anxious thoughts like “they will all think I’m dumb” or “no one will talk to me”).
2. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Teach and practice relaxation techniques with your children. Some examples of relaxation are deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation. A simple breathing technique is called Box Breathing where one inhales deeply for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four, hold for four and repeat this about 5 times. Practicing this regularly can help reduce anxiety over time. Progressive muscle relaxation is the practice of tensing and releasing muscles – little children can practice this by pretending they are a robot (squeeze and freeze their body) then pretending they are a ragdoll (letting all their muscles relax and flop onto a soft surface), parents can guide older children or teenagers by directing them to tense and release groups of muscles, starting at the feet and working up the body.
3. Role-Playing Scenarios
Practice social situations through role-playing. This can be especially helpful for younger children. Set up common scenarios, like meeting new classmates or asking a teacher for help. Role-playing can make these situations feel less intimidating and help your child feel more prepared.
4. Set Small Goals
Encourage your child to set small, achievable social goals. For example, they might aim to say “hello” to a classmate or join a group activity for a few minutes. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, to build their confidence. Make sure that you help them plan for all possible outcomes and role play the plan you create together.
5. Encourage Participation in Activities
Getting involved in group activities, like sports, clubs, or art classes, can help your child develop social skills in a more structured environment. Choose activities they are interested in, as this can make social interactions feel more natural and enjoyable. Sometimes having a friend or sibling join them in these activities when they have just started challenging this anxiety can be helpful to build confidence.
6. Teach Positive Self-Talk
Help your child develop a positive inner dialogue. Encourage them to replace negative thoughts (“I’ll embarrass myself”) with positive affirmations (“I can handle this”). Journaling can also be a helpful tool for expressing feelings and practicing self-reflection.
7. Limit Exposure to Negative Influences
Be mindful of the media your child consumes. Social media can sometimes amplify feelings of anxiety. Encourage breaks from screens and promote positive, supportive interactions both online and offline.
8. Model Social Skills
Children learn a lot by observing adults. Model positive social interactions and demonstrate how to handle anxiety in social situations. Share your own experiences and coping strategies to show them they’re not alone.
9. Encourage Open Communication
Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings. Regularly check in with them about their experiences and listen without judgment. Validate their feelings, even if you don’t think the problem should make them feel anxious. Knowing they can talk to you and you understand them can alleviate some of their anxiety.
10. Seek Professional Help If Needed
If social anxiety is significantly impacting your child’s daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Anxiety therapy, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can provide effective strategies for managing anxiety. Contact me to discuss your options.
Conclusion
Coping with social anxiety takes time and patience, but with the right tools and support, children and teens can develop the skills they need to navigate social situations more confidently. Encourage your child to be kind to themselves and remind them that it’s okay to take small steps toward feeling more comfortable in social settings. To find out if your child could benefit from anxiety therapy, please reach out to me for more details.